The Girl without a boyfriend



"You don’t have a boyfriend? You’ve NEVER had one? But why?"
Demanding; not asking.
I was not conforming.
I’m always having to explain why I don’t have a boyfriend and its getting increasingly annoying.

I’ve always had difficulty answering that one. It always seemed to me, that going around (if you’ll excuse that juvenile terminology) requires the alignment of a number of factors. While many are known to obtain this magic configuration quite frequently, I have encountered several obstacles. Through my lack of things to do (including boyfriend), I had the spare time to explain this in detail to you.

The situation is best represented as a probability problem-

Event A- Pooja gets a boyfriend

P(1) A single boy- 0.25
P(2) Boy likes Pooja-0.1
P(3) Pooja reciprocating (within the given time span)- 0.1
P(4) Pooja feeling vulnerable and romantic- 0.13
P(5) Boy asking me out during this period of mutual attraction/affection- 0.76
P(6) Pooja not pretending that she didn’t hear him ask her out- 0.37

P(A) = P(1) . P(2) . P(3) . P(4) . P(5) . P(6)

P(A) = 0.25 . 0.1 . 0.1 . 0.13 . 0.76 . 0.37

P(A) = 0.0000228475


Thus the probability that the outcome of Pooja’s encounter with a boy will culminate into a beautiful romance is 0.0000228475

Now you don’t exactly need to be Pythagoras to know that at a probability of 0.0000228475, you’re chances are not good!

Notice that I haven’t even taken into account 2 important factors
a) The boy is old enough to vote
b) Pooja studies in all-girls college


Yet, despite being perfectly content, I find myself almost apologizing to inquisitive others regarding my single status. It’s only on one’s own blog space does one get to illustrate the matter at hand with the help of a probability sum. You might see that this method does not go down too well as conversation. Least of all when someone asks you a seemingly simple question like “Why don’t you have a boyfriend? (accusatory)


For long I had to combat the interrogation with nothing more than a half-hearted shrug and a sheepish (almost guilty) grin. I’ve always known that the truth is overrated but it’s taken me unusually long to apply it here. As a rule its always more interesting to lie.

I have a boyfriend, it’s a long distance relationship. We met in a chat room.
My parents have fixed my marriage with a boy who lives in Dubai when I was 7.
I’m a lesbian.Ofcourse
My first boyfriend died of leukemia and I can’t bring myself to love anyone again.

It’s a good exercise in creativity to come up with something innovative every time. Besides, Mastercard could not buy the priceless reactions I get.